New Circumstance, Same Problems

I always dreamed of working for myself. Living life on my own terms and, generally, being a #girlboss.

I begged God for the chance to start my career but it seemed the time would never come. My shortsighted mind questioned God's intentions.  We never seemed to be able to see eye to eye. Did He truly have my best interest?

Of course He did.

Deep down I knew that. My toddler mindset of "I want what I want when I want it" had me pitching a hissy fit for my current situation.

Over the next few years I slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) learned to listen to Him a little bit closer.

What I heard as a "No" was simply a, "Not Yet." 

He was preparing me.

Eventually I let go of the idea of starting my own thing, and really leaned into the work I was doing. When I was focused on what He set before me, I found so much joy in it.

Then God said, "It's time."

The moment I never thought would be a reality was finally here. And it scared me!

What I came to find in those next few months of starting my own business is that I needed every second of preparation before starting this new venture. I needed that extra time to learn, build stamina, form relationships, take a photoshop class, get married(!), grow in my relationship with God... and so much more.

Starting a business from scratch is not easy but God gave me time to prepare. Time that I had no idea I needed.

Walking this new part of life has had it's own ups and downs and occasionally I start to question God about it... which is hilarious because He gave me exactly what I asked for! But when those times of doubt come, I tend to forget about trusting God's plan all over again.

Like the Israelites asking for food and then complaining about the Manna God gifted them.

New circumstance, same problems.

It's kind of funny... God has been teaching me this same lesson in almost every area of my life. I'm a work in progress, OK?

I keep holding on to my plans so tightly, thinking that I know better than God.

So... I reach out my hands and open my palms. Today I choose to give those plans up to God.

And I'm sure I'll have to do it all over {AGAIN} tomorrow. Doubt, freak out, and then unravel my clenched fists one finger at a time.

But every time it get's a little bit easier. And every time He gives me more than I deserve... even if I don't see it at the time.

Until next time,

xxLT